Life As a Raisin

I’m soft. In fact, I think I’m the gooey in the middle kind of soft. If right now, you’re thinking I’m about to launch into a diatribe about the 15 pounds I need to lose, screw you! I’m talking about my skills, people. And according to my business qualifications, you might say I’m made up entirely of doughy, squishy, spongy, supple, pliable, “soft skills”. These are the skills that people say you’re “lucky” to have or can’t be taught. So they don’t teach ‘em in school and you can’t quite capture them on a resume. But I’m trying.

What I wouldn’t give to have a tangible skill or a deliverable that is concrete. Like, I wish I was a dentist. Dentist’s go into work every morning and know they are going to look in mouths, fill some teeth, poke some gums, remind you how important it is to floss (again). Sure, they might have a high depression rate from all the mercury they huff, but still. They know what they do day-to-day. Life is predictable. Their work is predictable. Maybe there are rare days when someone comes in with an emergency cavity or bleeding gums. And maybe that throws off the schedule, but that’s about as hectic as it gets.

But I don’t have mad dental skillz. I’m left with the soft skills. Sure, I can talk to people. I have “excellent communication skills”, I can be “flexible”, a “team player”, or a “fast learner” but what does all that give me when I don’t have an MBA or my mom to vouch for me?

Now that we agree I have these things (ahem), how do I SELL these things?

Honestly, maybe I don’t care about selling these things. I’m sure this is just another tangent in my quest to find My Thing. But while searching, I would still like to figure out what my marketable skills are – and maybe that will lead me down the path to discovering it.

I’ve had two distinct pieces of advice offered to me recently. The first was to ask God for direction – and if I keep myself open to what is offered, the right path will be revealed to me. But how do you know when God speaks? For example, last night, I very clearly said, “God, can you let me know which direction I should be taking here?” and nothing. No spark of realization, no epiphany, no burning bush. And now my mom has her prayer group praying for me (thanks, Prayer Group!) I think I’m going to ask her to make sure she keeps the lines open.

The other was a bit less, well, ethereal. In fact, it would be practical if it weren’t so elusive. I was told to find my passion and then, even more importantly, find the environment that allows me to embrace my passion and make use of it. Ahhh… ok, first, the ever annoying “find your f’ing passion” comment. OK. Right. I get it. I’m supposed to find what I love to do. I’m trying, OK? I’m looking. I’ve identified soft skills. That’s a start. But! BUT! This is the first time I’ve had someone acknowledge that the place you’re in has to appreciate your passion for your passion to grow – and that’s not just any place – it’s got to be the right place.

Great. Now I have two questions I need to answer – what is my passion and where can I share it? But for some reason, I feel closer to it somehow as if knowing that the place it needs to live is just as important as the birthing of it. That means it’s a combination of things that make it work – it’s not just me or something I’m doing or not doing that I don’t know about that will make it all come together. And for some reason, that relieves me greatly.

And while I search for yet another answer, I’m gonna get hard. Or at least think hard. And who knows, maybe even realize that soft isn’t so bad after all.