Anger of the Woo
All my most sensitive parts are exposed and I think I'm getting an emotional rash. And here I am, laying out my thoughts and revealing myself on this page and becoming enraged at the vulnerability. I think someone is making me do this and when I find her, I'm punching her straight in the vagina. I'm like a volcano, gurgling with irritation, excessive sensitivity, emotional overload, and a dash of rage. Some people call this PMS. I call it today.
I know something's up when I tear up because each girl in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants learns something formative from their ordeal. Oh. And cuz I keep eating everything in my path. But that's not the point. The point is, I have issues and I am tenaciously holding onto them for the day and tomorrow I will, or may, start over. What I don't need is this:
1. Sarcastic remarks about my sensitivity.
2. Cryptic comments about our relationship or my level of effort around the house.
3. Indifferent responses or half-hearted interactions.
4. A casual pat on the ass in an effort to playfully remind me of your affection.
5. AT&T commercials or any movie where the world is saved at the end.
What I do need is this:
1. Sarcastic remarks about other people's sensitivity.
2. Cryptic comments that I will understand but other people are perplexed by..
3. You to pay attention. Seriously. Focus. Focu-u-us.
4. Let's just leave the ass alone right now.
5. To watch ass kicking or to kick someone's ass - one or the other. Yes, I realize this is ass. But it's not my ass.
Right, I know. I have issues. It's already been stated. I'm working on it. Alright?